Crazy Kitty Catastrophe!
by Princess Esther of Hyrule
Summary: When Giovanni’s Persian knocks over a bottle of something he shouldn’t have been near in the first place and gets sick from tasting it, it’s going to have some…unexpected effects…yeah…like a complete change in species…
1. When Persian got sick from drinking

Crazy Kitty Cat-astrophe

Genre: Humor/Romance

Rating: PG, for sheer strangeness!! 

Summary: When Giovanni's Persian knocks over a bottle of something he shouldn't have been near in the first place and gets sick from tasting it, it's going to have some…unexpected effects…yeah…like a complete change in species…

Disclaimer: I hate these things… anyway; I don't own Team Rocket or any member of it. Neither is Pokémon. Esther is mine, though. **_Estakishipping_** is mine as well.

Oh, and UPS isn't mine. The UPS dude, is, however, mine. Like the Sushi dude or the Pizza dude…

This is in complete dialogue form, so deal with it. I'm better with dialogue form.

*March 9th, 2004…*

_Chappie 1- When Persian licked the foreign liquid and got sick…and Giovanni found out Persian wasn't the gender he thought it was…_

~Giovanni is at his mansion, playing NeoPets…(don't tell anyone though…^_^), when there's a knock at the door…~

Giovanni: -_- *sighs* Just when I was vegetating… coming! *Gets up, goes to the door, and opens it*

*There's an UPS dude there*

UPS dude: *surfer accent* Like, What can Brown do for you?

Giovanni: *taken aback* O_o Pardon?

UPS dude: *chuckles nervously* 'cuse me…reflex. 

Giovanni: O_o ;;; Obviously…

UPS dude: Like, Mr. Rocket, you order sumpthin'?

Giovanni: -_- Your grammar is atrocious, but yes, I ordered _something_ (enunciates 'something').

UPS dude: ^_^ Dude, like I said! Here you go! *Hands him a small package in brown wrapping paper.* Like, I need you to sign 'ere, on the, like, dotted line…*hands Giovanni the clipboard*

Dotted line: __________  ______  ________

Giovanni: Ah yes, my expensive antique Tuscan bottle filled with some mysterious liquid… *signs on dotted line*

Dotted line: _Giovanni_ _John_ _Rocket_

UPS: ^_^ Alright! Like, thank you, Mr. Rocket, sir! *looks at watch* Whoa, dude, like, it's 4:30! Like, now I can get back home to the Mrs. and, like, take her to go riding some waves like I promised! Bye, dude! *Runs off to the UPS truck*

Giovanni: -_-;; they keep get weirder and weirder… *walks inside*

*Persian runs up to him as he re-enters the house*

Persian: *yawns* Rawrrr… afternoon, Master…

Giovanni: ^_^ you awake now, buddy?

Persian: *nods* Purr… uh-huh…

Giovanni: That's good. Come over here, bud. *They sit on the couch, where Giovanni was…ahh…_working_…yeah… Giovanni scratches Persian behind ears*

Persian: ^_^ *happy Persian* Rawrrrrrr…*closes its eyes and starts purring happily*

Giovanni: You like that?

Persian: Rawrrrrrrrrr…..oh yeah, right there….behind the ears…Ooooooo, that's nice…

Giovanni: *gets up and places the bottle, which is dark amber-colored glass with some dark liquid inside on the small table beside him* I'll be back in a second, Persian. Don't get into trouble, okay?

Persian: Per….*nods* yes, sir

Giovanni: That's a good boy. *Pets him on the head and leaves the room*

Persian: *looks around the corner, sees that Giovanni is nowhere in sight, then creeps over to the bottle* Rawr, wer, perrrrr, rawrrrr? So what's this supposed to be? *paws at the bottle curiously* he called it a 'bottle'…does that mean it can hold stuff? ^_^ Well, guess I'll have to find out for myself… *paws at it some more, and is surprised when it moves slightly off balance.* O_O RAWR! O_O OH CRAP!! DON'T FALL, DON'T FALL! *unfortunately, it does…right onto the hardwood floor!*

Glass striking wood floor: CRASSH!

Persian: -_-;;;; Rawrrrr….*uncovers face where he was protecting himself from the flying fragments* whoops…crap. *Stares at the brown liquid* -_-;; rawrrr…well…that's one way to do it….I'm in trouble… *sniffs at the fluid, and is surprised that it smells nice* rawwwwwwrrrrrr…? Hey, it smells like…chocolate? Well, one lick shouldn't hurt me too much… *takes a tiny lick* ^_^ Hey, I think it is chocolate! Still…I think I need to taste more just to make sure…

*Five minutes later*

*Giovanni comes out of his room, where he was searching for some old records, and is quite surprised to see Persian passed out on the hardwood floor!*

Giovanni: O_O Persian! *Runs over to the Classy Cat* Persian, are you okay?! Persian?! *No response from Persian; Giovanni sees the broken bottle and spilled liquid* O_o Huh? That's the bottle I just ordered….*sighs* Oh well, no time to worry about spilled brown liquid stuff. *Dials 811 (the emergency number for the Pokémon center) on his Blackberry (type of Cell Phone)* Come on, Nurse Joy, pick up, dang it! Pick up!   

***At the Pokémon center in Viridian…***

Joy: *hands Pokéballs back to their trainer* Your Pokémon are as good as new! ^_^

Trainer: ^_^ Alright, Now I can take on the Viridian City Gym Leader!

Joy: -_- Oh, I'm sorry, the gym closes at 4:30 p.m., and it's Five o' clock now. You'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Trainer: -_- Drat…can I stay here tonight?

Joy: ^^ Of course! 

Videophone: Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Phone call, Phone call! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Phone call, Phone call!

Joy: o_O Huh? I wonder who that could be? *Picks phone up; the video screen is blank except for the words "Audio only"* Hello? This is Nurse Joy.

Giovanni: Hey, I've got a big emergency!

Joy: ^_^ Well, hello, Mr. Rocket! What seems to be the trouble?

Giovanni: My Persian knocked over a bottle of some unknown foreign substance and I think he ate…er…drank some of it, and is currently passed out on the floor.

Joy: O_O Oh my! How are its vital signs?

Giovanni: Pulse's okay, as is the breathing, but I'm scared it might have been poisonous.

Joy: Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can! *Hangs up* *to the nurse in the back* Hey, cousin, I need you to watch the front for me too. I've got an emergency I have to go to!

*The Other Joy comes out of the back*

Other Joy (OJ): Okay, I'm here! Go ahead.

Joy: ^_^ Thanks! *Runs to the ambulance*

**~Back at Giovanni's manor, Persian has come to, but has a fever~**

Giovanni: Persian, buddy, are you okay?

Persian: @_@ rawrrrr…no

Giovanni: How are you feeling?

Persian: rawrrawr….Like I just got scorched by 2 Charizards' flamethrowers*

Giovanni: -_- eh…Joy better get here soon. *Knock at the door* It's open!

Joy: *runs in* O_O Oh my goodness! The poor thing! *Checks Persian's vital signs again* 

Giovanni: He's got a fever; I'm not sure how high it is.

Joy: *checking thermometer* 101.8 degrees. We need to get it to the Pokémon Center, stat! 

Giovanni: Okay. *Watches as Joy picks up Persian and places it on a stretcher* don't worry, buddy. You'll be okay. You've got to be. *Looks at the brown substance worriedly* I'll be there in a second…I want to take a sample of this stuff…

Joy: Okay *hands him 2 vials*, use these. 

Giovanni: Okay. *Takes some of the brown liquid and scoops it into the vials and caps them.* Alright, let's go!

**~Pokémon Center, 8:32 p.m.~**

*Giovanni waits in the waiting room, pacing back and forth anxiously, when the Other Joy enters.*

OJ: *looks up from the clipboard* Giovanni Rocket?

Giovanni: *stops pacing and runs up to the counter* Is he okay?!

OJ: o_O hm…sorta.

Giovanni: -_- What…do…you…mean…'Sorta'?

OJ: *sighs* You'll see…*He follows her to a small room, where the Joy who brought Persian to the Pokémon Center stands nearby. The Other Joy leaves the three of the (Joy, Giovanni, and Persian) alone in the room.*

Giovanni: What did she mean by 'Sorta' okay? Is he okay or not?

Joy: *chuckles* ^_^ I don't know about 'Him'… but 'She' is just fine.

Giovanni: O_o Huh? My Persian is a Female?

Joy: Uh-huh. I don't know how you couldn't tell, unless you just weren't paying attention.

Giovanni: So, 'She' is okay?

Joy: Yes. We aren't sure what the substance is, but it's in the bloodstream and doesn't seem to have any effects on her.

Giovanni: The idiot who told me that 'She' was a 'He' needs to have his head examined.

Joy: ^_^;;;; something like that.

Giovanni: So, when can…eh…'She' come home?

Joy: We're doing the last tests now. You should be able to take her home tonight, if all goes well. You'll have to keep a super close eye on her, though.

Giovanni: I usually do. I just had to get some stuff from my room when the incident happened…-_- never should have let her out of my sight…

Joy: *pats him on the shoulder* Aw, don't worry. What's past is past. You just have to watch her really carefully from now on. 

Giovanni: -_- Man, it's going to take a while to get used to Persian…er…**_Persia_** being female…

*OJ walks out of the testing room, carrying Persian…(A/N: Excuse me…**_Persia_**) on a stretcher in front of her*

OJ: Here's your Persian, Mr. Rocket. 

Persian (Known as Persia from here on out): Rawr!! ^_^ Master! I missed you!

Giovanni: ^_^ I missed you too, bud…er…girl!

Persia: O_o Raaaawrrrrr? So you finally figured it out?

Giovanni: -_- Uh, yeah…sorry…

Joy: *shrugs* thought he knew already.

Persia: *rolls eyes* rewrrr… *figures he wouldn't know….*

**~Giovanni's manor…10:30 p.m….~**

*In Giovanni's room…*

Giovanni: *In his PJs (A/N: Red Silk, no less ^_^)* You felling okay, Persia?

Persia: *laying her head on the pillow next to Giovanni's* Rawr, rawr, per, rawr…besides a slight headache, I'm fine, Master.

Giovanni: That's good. *sets the alarm for 7:30 a.m.* Good night, girl. *turns off light* make sure you tell me if you're feeling bad, okay?

Persia: *nods head tiredly* -_- warrrrr….yes, Master…Night… *falls asleep*

Giovanni: ^_^ *runs his fingers through Persia's hair* I'm sorry, old friend, about earlier… *15 minutes later, he falls asleep.*

**~~~~****~~~~**

Little did the Rocket Boss know that the next morning, his whole life would change forever…

**~~~~****~~~~**

**Read and Review!!**


	2. When Giovanni was scared to Hades & back

Crazy Kitty Cat-astrophe!!!

Genre: Humor/Romance

Rating: PG, for the fact that someone's naked in this chapter. I don't go into detail, but it isn't Giovanni… (A/N: All Giovanni fan girls start cursing me under their breath, myself included…^^ Got to stop having naughty mental pics of Giovanni in brain…darn it, Cosmic Mewtwo, you've got the mental picture of him in boxers embedded in my brain…yay!)

Summary: When Giovanni's Persian knocks over a bottle of something he shouldn't have been near in the first place and gets sick from tasting it, it's going to have some…unexpected effects…yeah…like a complete change in species…

Disclaimer: I hate these things… anyway; I don't own Team Rocket or any member of it. Neither is Pokémon. Esther is mine, though. **_Estakishipping_** is mine as well.

Also, one of the characters uses really bad grammar in this chapter. Don't worry, I don't talk like that, and I know how to use grammar effectively. That person just talks like that for the moment…

WARNING!: I will in no way take responsibility for nasty mental pictures you may get when reading this chapter…^_^

This is in complete dialogue form, so deal with it. I'm better with dialogue form.

Time of start of writing chapter 2: March 13th, 2004…

_Chappie 2- When Giovanni got scared to Hades and Back ^^_

**~~~~****~~~~**

*Giovanni's Mansion, 7:29 a.m., next morning…* 

~Giovanni is currently asleep, and there's a lump in the covers next to him, where Persia is asleep…or so he thinks…^_^~

~ At 7:30 a.m.…~

Radio: **AND GOOD MORNING, ALL YOU FOLKS IN VIRIDIAN CITY!! THIS IS DJ BOB, AND IT'S 7:30! SO WAKE UP, FOLKS, TIME TO GET TO WOR…***Giovanni wakes up, pulls out a mallet, and smashes the radio while he is half-asleep. He looks up at the pile of rubble and sighs*

Giovanni: -_- That's radio number five I've broken like that… well, I did see that nice, better model of that type of radio, so maybe…*thinks about it* No, I'll end up smashing that one to. I need to get the alarm clock as far away from my reach as is possible… 

***He turns to the lump in the bed* **

Giovanni: Persia, time to get up. *He runs his hand across the lump, and is somewhat baffled at the fact that the lump is a good deal curvier than Persia.* Huh? Maybe she turned over on her side…*checks under the covers and sees a human face…* Oh, that's nice…*does a double take* **HUMAN FACE?!**

***He turns back around* **

Giovanni: Okay, it's all a dream; I'll just pinch myself and wake up... *pinches his left upper arm hard* Owwww…-_- okay, that was dumb…(thought: _Smart Team Rocket Boss I am._) Okay, so when I look under the covers this time, it'll just be a Female Persian that may be a bit cranky from a headache. There is no female human under there. *Checks again, only this time, he accidentally pulled the sheet back a little too far…* O_O OMG, it **_IS_** a female human: a **_NAKED FEMALE HUMAN_**!!! (A/N: The following is Giovanni screaming very loudly.) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naked Female Human (NFH): *wakes up from the screaming VERY suddenly* (A/N: This is her screaming) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

*They both fall out of the bed in fright*

Giovanni: *still very freaked* O_O OH MY LORD, THERE'S A PROSTITUTE IN MY BED!! Oh gosh, THAT MEANS I'VE BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Quickly makes sure he's got his Pajamas on still, and he does.* What do you want with me, you…you…you…you whore?!

NFH: O_o huh? *Grabs at her throat* Why me speak human?!

Giovanni: *ducks behind his side of the bed and whimpers* Ewww……

NFH: o_O why you act like that, Master?

Giovanni: DON'T CALL ME THAT! I **_AM NOT_** your master!! I didn't hire you!!! I wouldn't hire you!! Oh man, now I'm not a virgin.

NFH: *covers herself with the sheets* you not answer my question: Why me speak human?

Giovanni: *still on other side of bed* Because you're a Human, duh…

NFH: No me not, me Pokémon!

Giovanni: *lifts head (and is happy she's covering herself) and looks at her quizzically* O_o Are you sure you don't belong in the Asylum?

NFH: What's Asylum?

Giovanni: Where crazy people go. 

NFH: Me no crazy. Me Pokémon!

Giovanni: *crawling over to the phone and picks it up and is about to punch in the phone number when he stops.* -_- oh crud.

NFH: O_o Why you say, "Oh crud"?

Giovanni: *starts cursing under his breath* Can't remember the *bleep* number for the Asylum…

NFH: But Master…

Giovanni: STOP CALLING ME THAT!!! *Decides to collapse to the floor and starts praying* Oh, Lord, why did this have to happen to me? Please, God, make this nightmare stop. I get what you're telling me; I need to turn my life around and be a good guy and disband Team Rocket…but it's hard because it's my Mommy's organization, and…and…and she passed away last year! *Starts sobbing*

NFH: Poor Master…*goes up to him and starts rubbing up against his arm*

Giovanni: (sniffle) Is that you, Persia? Where were you? You're supposed to be over here protecti…*sees it's the NFH and does a very good imitation of James squealing* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! *Runs to the other side of the bed*

NFH: o_O Why you keep running away?

Giovanni: That should be obvious…

NFH: But…but…you no recognize me?

Giovanni: I've never seen you in my life.

NFH: You saw me yesterday…

Giovanni: Only females I saw were Jesse, Cassidy, Domino, Wendy, and Nurse Joy, not to mention several more, and believe me, I recognize people very well. I've got a photographic memory, for Heaven's sake…I **_DID NOT_** see you.

NFH: But…but…but…

Giovanni: *has calmed down a bit, but not much, and decides to take a peak over the bed to get a glimpse of his alleged _assailant_. He sees a confused woman about his age (so say, mmm…24 for both of them [he's younger than he looks]), with black-blue hair, except for a 2-inch wide cream colored streak on the right side of her head (A/N: Go to NeoPets, find a picture of Jhodura, and check out that green streak she's got. That's how big The NFH's cream streak is.). She's about 6'2", and is quite good looking. He also notes that she has _large, furry ears, and a furry tail_…(A/N: **Yes, you read that right…**)* *does a **_major_** double take* O_O;;;;; ehhhhhh…*faints* @_@

NFH: O_O Master! *Runs over to him* Master, master! *Shakes him* you okay?

Giovanni: @_@ aahhhhhhhh….

NFH: *looks at him sympathetically* Poor Master…

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Who is this mysterious woman? Why does she keep calling Giovanni "Master"? Is she really a prostitute? Is he still a virgin? And where the heck is Persia?

^_^ You'll have to wait until the next Chappie for the answers!!!

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**Read and Review!!**


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